Wine Names Are Bullshit
Wine packing the shelves at Petaluma Market – Buzz BishopIf wine tasting is bullshit, then it follows the naming of wines has to be full of it too.
Marketing. It’s all about marketing. I’ve said before how the even get a taste. Now the naming of wines is messing with our brains as we walk the aisles.
Check out the names of a few wines I spotted on the shelves of wine retailers in Napa and Sonoma, you’d think TS Elliot was involved in the creation of some of these Rum Tum Tuggers. While some of the best wines in the world graced the shelves, sitting alongside the likes of Monogamy, Promisqous, Purple Cowboy, Middle Sister, Wandering Grape, Evil, Poizon and Merlot Over And Play Dead.
None of them carry the prestige or elegance of the grand houses of Bordeaux or the stars of Napa, but they do carry that microbrew counter culture cache that has become popular.
It’s a tiny little middle finger at the wine industry proving what’s on the outside matters just as much as what’s on the inside.
Yes, the naming of wines, like wine tasting, is bullshit.
The Blog According to Buzz. Spread the word, ya heard?
I bought a bottle of Grenache because the name was Bitch and the label made me laugh, the wine was meh but it made for a fun story. The cashier at the liquor store told me that one store put the bottles of Evil right beside the bottles of Bitch. It was a great marketing ploy until someone took offense.
I personally thought it was clever.
If you think the names are bullshit, check out the “Cellared in Canada” wines that are being passed off as “Canadian Wines.” (They’re not.) More info here:
http://cdub.ca/2009/09/29/cellared-in-canada/
I find this controversy amusing, since it’s not new. It’s been well known in the industry and talked about for YEARS. A few well placed journos have managed to break the story open, and it’s about time.
Many many many wines are just bulk juice bought on the open market, cellared and repackaged. Some “local” wines could actually be Bulgarian.