Jen had a Christmas Girls Night Out this week and so Le Grand Monsieur and I stayed in.

An aside .. I’m not good with babies, I’ll admit that. I’m kinda just waiting until he’s 2 or 3 or 4 or more communicative. I love my son, don’t get me wrong, I just don’t have the patience for his babiness. I’m working on it, so this night was a good practice of my new patience.

Zacharie pretty much fell asleep as soon as Jen left, so I didnt move. I didnt really want to spend the night watching tv, but that’s where I was and I didnt want to risk a waking screaming baby.

A couple hours in, though, and I was hungry since I hadnt had dinner yet and it was just about 8. So I tried to place him down, but he woke up. Fine, I dropped him in the exersaucer while I had a salad and made another bottle for him. When I was done, I picked him up and smelled it.

Woo. Someone needed a change. So a quick change, bottle, bed again and I will have escaped the night - no worries!

But here’s the thing about babies and their diapers. When you scoop up a child and have them sit in the crook of your arm you treat their diaper like a jelly donut - you’re squeezing it right at the bottom. Zacharie must have had a full load, because when I laid him down for a change it was everywhere. Like up to his shoulders everywhere. I didnt just squeeze the donut, I stomped on it, rubbed it in and then stomped on it again.

Now changing a baby with a wet diaper is easy. Whip it off, cover the pee pee with a cloth so there’s no spray, wipe and whip in another one. A blowout to the shoulders is a different story. He wants to kick, so you have to go one handed on the clean up while you hold him still. So off the diaper with one hand, hold him with one hand all the while trying to wipe all the way to his shoulders AND cover the pee pee so there’s no spray.

It wasn’t going so well. I couldnt cover up and he peed all over me. Then it was all over. I had given up. Trying to take his top off over his bottom so I didnt get sh*t all in his face and hair while he was squirming without getting any on me, just wasn’t going to happen.

So I gave up. I was going to get dirty, that’s all there was to it. I stripped him down, dropped him in the tub, stripped myself off, scrubbed him up and the whole while not a scream.

Once I got him rechanged, I fed him his bottle, we cozied up in bed and he fell right asleep again.

Boys night in. Good times.

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This entry was posted on Friday, December 21st, 2007 at 1:07 pm and is filed under baby, buzz.You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.